MARCH 14 2009

I went to wasy’s place again for some bonding moments together with his friends, marc’s friends too actually. I never thought that I’ll walk the same roads that marc and I used to walk together, holding each other’s hand while sharing our day to each other. It was weird; right now I’m with wasy things got really twisted just in the span of 7 months.

I told wasy not to say anything about us to his friends, I don’t want them to think that I’m using him just for rebound because that’s not totally the case, not that I owe them any explanation or anything like that, of course not, I just felt that its still not the right time. But its really cute and very high school sort of way, whenever we wanted to say anything to each other we just text it, I felt being texted by Romeo, because we really cant be beside each other that night.hehehe he even made the sweetest gesture, when we are alone he will say something like “I want to let you see this” and then he will kissed me and texted me that he really misses me and wanted to hug me at that time but I choose not to let him do that.

We are really obvious but we still kept mum about us and let them do the judgement, he even slipped to one of his friends saying that we are an item and I looked at him very quickly then said to his friends that its just a joke. What a relief. But from that time the clues are already there, they really are teasing us but wala lang deadma pa din.hehehe

Then there would be a swimming party that will happen this end of the month together with his friends, so bahala na kung ano pa ang makikita nila samin, but I really love the thrill of getting caught by them. It felt so good to hide secrets from them because it seems that they know everything, I think even each others’ sex life, its totally a guy thing, I still cant wait for that. Sadly I and wasy will be apart on that day because of my choice of not saying anything to them, but as they say distance makes the heart grow fonder. I certainly hope so.

BLISSFULLY IN LOVE

The long wait is over. I think. I never ever really thought about getting married, for me I’m one of those girls that marriage is never an option to be tied up with a man that you’re not even sure that you’re going to spend you lifetime with. But wasy is so different; I felt a rush, a deep and strong feeling of love. He asked me once about the idea of marriage and if I was not that speechless I could have said yes right away.


Its so amazing how he changed my point of view in getting married, he made me feel excited and wanted to do it if he asked me again. I really love him, stronger than I ever felt before with anybody. I don’t want this to last; I want to keep this way until I die.


Wow he really must be something for me to say these things. He is really something special to me somebody I longed for all of my life. He is not good looking but he has everything I wish I could have a special person.

PORING

Do I like him? yes I really do.

Do I love him? No but I could do that in time.


Love and like is total different feelings but sometimes it leads to one thing if you combine those two. It will be a wonderful relationship that anybody could wish for.


Wasy and I really like each other, but for love? I really don’t know if we are close enough to get there. He is one hell of a player, he’s not even good looking not even close for crying out loud. Hehehe, but he really made me confused when it comes to my feelings.

I get jealous! The woman in me is in control of that emotion, I hate him for being so insensitive to my feelings and keep on posting bulletins in friendster that will absolutely hurt me.

PUSTAHAN

After almost a day of not even texting me he finally did around afternoon while I was sleeping, nagising talga ako kasi I was really waiting for him to text me. Its more of I wanted to know if I should forget about him or continue with the game. So, he apologize and said sorry for me, eto na naman ako may I compare na naman si marc, but really when marc and I having a fight he don’t usually say the word we just make up and everything is ok after that, so this is somehow really new to me..and so the conversation goes.

I really don’t where we stand so I just suggested that we could just be friends with benefits I guess?? Not very nice suggestion but I think it was a good start, kilala ko lang talaga siya at ayokong maging isa sa mga biktima nya.hehehe


So the deal has been set, UNANG MA-INLOVE TALO. I just hope kaya kong panindigan. I’m afraid that I will be the one who’s going to loose and I might end up crying again.huhuhu

secret rendevouz FEB 15

On my way to wasy’s house I was about to ride on a “mini cab” un and ang tawag nila. Gusto ko sanang ma-upo sa tabi ng driver para mas may moment ako, I was about to reached the door handle when a familiar voice and face was holding the knob as well, it was JAMIL a common friend to all of us, so I quickly transfer a seat, sa likod na lang but an old man with a cigarette wanted to sit on that spot as well, but he give way, luckily we are separated by two persons so he really cant see me, and he really cant recognize me since im wearing a sunglasses and I just let my hair down. It was really scary and I’m really not 100% sure that I was really not recognized but whatever bumaba naman ako sa sm so bahala na siyang mg-assume kung saan at sino ang pupuntahan ko.


So when I got in front of their house I texted him to meet me at their gate and so he did. Ito na ang pinaka-exciting part ng kwento ko. we went immediately sa room nya, and its not the usual room, its like tinaboy xa.hehehe (that’s I kept teasing him about) it’s because his room is located at second floor but no stairway inside sa house, nasa labas ung hagdan. so nung naabutan ko xa he’s watching MATANGLAWIN (corny talga!he’s so typical pinoy that I hate), and I’m watching as well, awkward at first as well kasi we’re used to be surrounded by friends and marc was always at my side and he was always marc’s side as well.

So we are just having some usual hello’s again and he asked me where I come from, I said “sa trabaho” so kwento lang kami ng kwento when he suddenly hug me. It seems that he really missed me and was waiting too long for me. It was a different kind of hug, maybe the one that I missed or the hug that I was longing for and then I could feel his lips on my hair. I know he’s smelling and kissing it; nobody does that to me, even my 8 years relationship with marc he never done that not even once. Maybe that’s the reason why I give in he was something that I was longing for, something I was looking for marc, the feeling of passion like im all he needs and will not care about anybody that time. When I turn around he touch my face at tiningnan nyo ko for 5 seconds I think, and hold me close and I know what he will do next, kiss me of course, and so he did. It was a different kind of kiss, I don’t know if you had experience but hope you had at least once in your life, his lips so soft, he's gently kissing me like savouring every moment, i never imagine that it felt so good but it really did, I really felt the inner heat in my body as if I have a fever that time. It took me almost 5 months to kiss somebody again and the thought of kissing someone other than marc scares me kasi I thought na baka maisip ko xa while doing it and it will be unfair to wasy, but it did not, surprisingly, I was just looking at him and I’m just really feeling him, and GOD knows what had happened next, I wont go on details .hehehe kala mo ha


So after that, he just hug me.and kept saying na “TANGA LANG TALGA XA AT INIWAN KA NYA”. Well maybe he is but I guess he is really happy now so by that time I was about to really start a new relationship with wasy and I thought that he is worth a try, he even has a pet name for me HONEY, common but nobody called me that before so it’s kind of kilig to me, but everything is still not sinking in so I just kept calling him by his name or worse HOY.hehehe


The hours past after lunch things heating up again, he made me do something that I am just doing if I really love the person, and I have no choice but to say it out loud just to let him stop, but he is a stubborn ass. Then I just finally said “NO I really CAN’T”, and then he turned his side against me. Then there’s silence for about an hour, I felt that maybe im still not ready for him not this so soon, and so I just told him that I wanted to go home and he let me but I cant see in his eyes feeling of regret but no voice is coming out, I just told him “UWI NA KO”, sabay labas ng gate.


to be continue...

ANG PAGHAHANAP NG KALIGAYAHAN

Moving on, admit it or not this is the hardest thing to do after a failed relationship. The scariest thought that you could ever think of is how will your future relationship accept you before and what have you become after the storm. I guess it will be easy if the next one will be somebody who watched you and been there all the while, while you are in the relationship, I think that’s the good thing that happened to me.

I never did thought that something, I will admit “special”, would happen to us. It was just a simple hello and how are you type of conversation and asking how my ex (marc) is doing since they are so close buddies and neighbour. So this one time when we have our usual hello’s, the conversation goes (or text).



WASY: YOU KNOW WHAT YOU SHOULD MOVE ON HE’S HAPPY NOW AND THERE’S NO NEED FOR YOU TO WAIT FOR HIM TO COME BACK.

ME: I KNOW YOU’RE RIGHT BUT HOW CAN I DO THAT? I DON’T know WHERE TO START.

WASY: YOU WANT ME TO HELP YOU?

ME: HOW? ARE YOU INTRODUCING ME TO SOMEONE?

WASY: NO. (EXACT WORD HE TEXT IN TAGALOG) AKO MISMO.

I was shocked. I mean, where the hell does that come from, we’re friends he knows me he knows my ex, he know what had happened, even our secret rendezvous. I know everything about him too. So I just told him that I cant since three of us know each other and we’re friends, he even helped us when he had this huge fight, he was kind of our bridge and he iron things out for the both of us. I really thought that it will totally going to complicate things even if marc has a girlfriend now.

But it does that end there, he still kept texting me and making some “lambing” words and such but I still blocking myself to go to the next level of friendship we have. I don’t what happened but I really just thought that I could may be try meeting him and just have our usual talks, he’s kind of acting like we are an item by that time but for me he still a friend and no plans of changing it anytime soon. So I decided to meet him and have lunch at their house since it was his birthday a day before I plan to visit him, like a gift I guess.

And I’ll continue...hehehe

what's with the name??

curious??simple..im a graduate of B.S. Civil Enginnering in MAPUA but i choose to be in a call center industry dahil sa pera of course. i have to raise a newly born child and oo nga pala i've been here almost 1 yr and 7 months na..wala pa akong balak umalis, i tried god knows how i tried but being an enginner for now will not make me earn money like call center can. Eh bkt nmn kasi kung ano pa ung mahirap na kurso na halos duguin na utak ko kaka-compute eh siya pang mababa ang pasahod. unfair talaga.

there's this one time ng kumuha ako ng credentials ko sa school syempre you cant avoid na makakita ng mga prof at endless ang kamustahan. i have no way to avoid him kasi dun ang office nya.the conversation goes:



ME: Good Morning Sir (kunyari excited)
Mr.M: o iha, kamusta ka nmn?san ka na ngayon ngttrabaho?
ME: (*talking in my mind like MARIMAR*patay!as if kaya kong sabhin kung san talga ko, so just to end the conversation) WALA PO SA BAHAY LANG. ( sabay alis agad)

ito ang mga senaryong kailangan iwasan, well sa engineering world once na ng call center ka it's like a mortal sin kind of thing at ang penance mo eh and mg quit at mgbalik loob.hehehe